On confidence...

I have had confidence issues my whole life, wondering if I am good enough, doubting it, etc. While I think I have made vast improvements in how I view myself, this subject is on my mind lately, mainly because some friends are struggling with their view of themselves. So, I share some thoughts here on confidence...

Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence.
~ Vince Lombardi

One thing I have learned over the years is that although others may give us boosts of confidence, our own view of self—in order to be true and effective in our life—must be just that: our own. That is what makes it both so powerful and yet so difficult, I think. For myself, I don't want to be overly arrogant with a false view-of-self, believing I am better than I am. An analogue to my view of confidence is my view on driving a car: I prefer to err on the side of caution!

All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.
~ Mark Twain

...and yet I have seen a lot of injury from my lack of seeing value in myself, or thinking I have confidence when it is not from the right source...

The person who seeks all their applause from outside has their happiness in another's keeping.
~ Dale Carnegie

...so I don't want to be inaccurate on the low side of my self-esteem...or on the high end...but just right, accurate, true...

Nothing profits more than self-esteem, grounded on what is just and right.
~ John Milton

...so, what is best then? How do we find a balance, or is it even possible? I would submit that it is in theory! While I am seeking that actuality, and encourage any and all reading this to do so as well, I find the following possibly helpful in pointing direction to get us started, or encouraged along the path of self-worth discovery...

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
~ Dale Carnegie

Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.
~ George Washington

People who have given us their complete confidence believe that they have a right to ours. The inference is false, a gift confers no rights.
~ Friedrich Nietzsche

...seemingly unfortunate at times, it seems that our hard times can actually help shape us, as a 'diamond in the rough', so to speak...

Adversity, and perseverance and all these things can shape you. They can give you a value and a self-esteem that is priceless.
~ Scott Hamilton

I cannot give you confidence or esteem in yourself, but I can remind you of it and encourage you to seek the balance between caution and arrogance. I can offer you the knowledge that I have of your worth as incalculable. I also know that that means so very little if you don't believe it.

You have then the truth of your worth, and where you are. If these two positions are not aligned, then I recommend seeking the truth of your worth. If your actual worthiness of esteem is the center of a spectrum, then to believe you are above that center is to be disconnected and overly inflated in yourself, and to believe you are below that center is like preventing yourself from seeing where you ought to be. I propose that the trick is finding the happy medium of true self-esteem. I hope some of the above thoughts might help in your quest...and mine.

While other, imperfect people around you may try to buoy you up, tear you down or treat you indifferently at most they/we can only remind you of your worth, we cannot give it to you or take it away. That is up to you. I am here to remind you of your worth, but mostly I hope and pray that you find within yourself a glimmer of that happy medium. It is priceless, I hear. I believe that it is so, because YOU are priceless.

With love.